Aseel Elborno: "I grew up in the United States. I was born in
Kuwait a Palestinian. When the Gulf War happened in 1990, Palestinians were
kicked out of the country, and so many left as refugees to Jordan. But my
family came under the sponsorship of my baby brother who was then two years old.
Because he was American, the American consulate contacted my family and said,
"We can evacuate this American citizen" They wanted to take him alone.
My father said, "He's two years old, so you either take us a package or as
a family, or you don't take him at all." And so the American government
came back about a week later and said, "Okay, we are going to evacuate all
American citizens who are minors with their families outside of Kuwait."
We were then brought to Raleigh, North Carolina. I always joke that this is
where the plane stopped, so that's where we got off. As an adult, I learned
that it's premeditated to have relocation centers all over the United States
for different groups of refugees. At the time, that's where they put the
Palestinians.
I grew up in Raleigh, North Carolina, and I had been there since I
was seven. I graduated college and met my husband through his cousin who was
going to undergrad at North Carolina State University with me. Because of this
friendship, we ended up going to Egypt together, my family and her family. When
we went to Egypt, I met my husband. We ended up courting for quite some time.
It was almost three years between just becoming friends and then finding out
that we were interested in one another, and then going through all of the
immigration stuff. I actually moved to Egypt and lived there for a year, and
then we came back to Arlington where I had gone to grad school.
It's interesting because my year in Egypt really opened up my eyes
to how fortunate we are in the United States to have such diversity among us. I
think it make us smarter, more equipped, and better able to deal with different
situations in our lives. That is different than if you are surrounded by people
who all look like you, think like you, believe like you, and move like you.
Your progress is a lot slower. I think that we're able to make so much more
progress in the United States whether it's technology, whether it's education,
whether it's the way that we run our businesses. The level of perfection, the
level of comradeship that exists and coexists between the people, that happens
in a place where you allow people to freely express and believe whatever they
want. It was a wonderful learning experience to be in Egypt, though. Obviously,
I got a husband out of it, so it was a great experience.
When we thought to come back to the United States, I didn't think
to come back to North Carolina. I thought to come back to Arlington, Virginia
where I had started my professional career and my grad school. I did my
graduate work in political communication in Johns Hopkins University. I said “Let's
go back to Arlington because I know it's diverse enough, I know that there's
enough public transportation because my husband is legally blind and does not
drive.” I knew that this is the area where we should really try and settle.
We were lucky. We came here, and right away my husband was able to
find employment because he's in the IT field."
Omar Bassiouny: "I moved from Egypt to the US nine years ago, and
we came straight this area. We’ve lived since then on the Pike. I was told that
this area used to be not safe before. I was told that before that this area was
not safe. There were gangs, and there were some members of drug cartels trying
to sell drugs in this area, but it looks like things changed. As a citizen of
this area who does not drive, I take public transportation, and I walk all the
time from different places. I always feel safe. I never had issues at all
walking around."
Aseel Elborno: "Living in the Columbia Pike community gives us
hope. I think that Americans, or some Americans to be more clear, have this
perception that America looks a certain way, and it's supposed to sound a
certain way. We are living in a really big experiment here. Can you bring
people who come from different backgrounds. different religions, different
races, different ideological beliefs, bring them from all over the world, mix
them up into this one place and say, "Can you govern yourselves where you
can coexist peacefully and thrive?"
Especially in Arlington, you see that this is true. We've lived on
Columbia Pike for nine years, and I've been Arlington for a total of 13 years.
I came from North Carolina, a place that is not as diverse. I was in the
capital, Raleigh, and I grew up among peers who were predominantly white,
predominantly Christian. To come to a place like Arlington that is so diverse, where
you see people from all walks of life coexisting peacefully and thriving
professionally in their education, in their personal lives, it does make me
feel really hopeful when we can prove to the world that, "Hey, you don't
have to be homogenous to be harmonious.” You can be diverse and still coexist
very peacefully, and not just peacefully, but actually appreciate the place
that you live in.
When I was in high school people didn't know I was Muslim just by
looking at me. I've always been very outspoken though about who I am and where
I come from, the fact that I'm Palestinian, the fact that I'm Muslim. I've
always been that way. They knew because I told them, and I surrounded myself
with people who accepted that and were happy to be around someone who wasn't
exactly like them. So my friends were very diverse as well. I had white
friends, black friends, and Asian friends. So, it wasn't so difficult.
My father's father was born in Gaza, and my father was born in
Gaza. And then after 1967 my grandfather left Gaza and went to Kuwait for a
teaching post. He taught English I believe. My grandfather's brothers are still
there in Gaza, but I don't know them, there's no direct communication
Our kids get religious training. They go to a Sunday school where
they learn Arabic, Quran, and Islamic studies. It's part of the Muslim American
Society, which is in Alexandria. There's actually no full service mosque in
Arlington that functions from Monday to Sunday."
Omar Bassiouny: "I've never actually felt like I'm a minority in
this area because there are all types of people right from all over the world. You
see people from different places in Asia, or India, or Pakistan, or like from
Africa, different places like Ghana, from Ethiopia, Arabs, Europeans. You just
see everybody all the time, and there are all types of businesses here, shops,
restaurants from all over the place. You see everybody, meet everybody. I feel
like everybody knows how to talk to people from different backgrounds.
I was from Alexandria, Egypt. It's a Mediterranean city which
usually has a specific little different character, because usually
Mediterranean cities tend to be a little bit more laid back. And because of the
economic situation, people look to people coming from the outside as if they
are a source of money. There is no issue talking to different people, but it's
just like maybe we can make some more business with them or something.
I moved here and then I started looking for a job. Less
than a couple of months later I already had signed a contract, and then I
started working, and then I moved from working as a contractor with the company
to full-time and part-time with my previous company and then with another
company. I had no gaps in my employment. At some points I was working two jobs full-time
and doing consulting part-time on the side. There is so much work in the IT
field in this area.
My bachelor's degree is in business administration. I did complete
a little bit of graduate studies in information systems, but I have been
working since I was in college in the IT field. I started doing help desk
support, and then server work, and then system admin and system engineering.
Now I'm getting more towards cyber security.
Our two boys, Walid and Zayed, were born in DC hospitals. I wish
they were both born in Virginia Hospital Center, so we could say they were 100%
Arlington."
Aseel Elborno: "Our boys both go to Arlington Traditional School. I
think one of the things that is challenging about living in an urban community
is that it is really hard to find your niche. It's hard to find the community
and the support system that you need. I found it hard as a young mother because
I went from working full-time to being a stay-at-home mom with two little kids.
I didn't have a big support system. I don't have family that lives here. That
was really difficult. Pre-school and childcare is extremely expensive in
Arlington. As we all know, housing here is unaffordable, so to go from two
incomes to one income was definitely challenging. One of the things that I'm
really happy to see is that there is a childcare initiative going on in
Arlington to look at pre-school prices, and to make sure that childcare becomes
a lot more affordable, that there's more support for women who choose either to
stay at home, or if that they want to go back to work, that it doesn't take
their entire paycheck just to be able to get out of the house and to continue
pursuing their career.
We were really lucky that our children got into Arlington
Traditional School. It is a lottery school, and so that means that everybody
puts their name in from all parts of Arlington; north, south, east, west. They
got into this amazing school that is extremely diverse, where the teachers are
very well-educated, very experienced, and the boys’ experience there has been
phenomenal.
But, on the flip side, had my children not been lucky, had they
not won the lottery to get into this very special school, are all Arlington
schools on the same ranking as Arlington Traditional School? No, they're not.
Most of Arlington schools are fantastic, but some of them aren't that great, it
varies. We were lucky, and we're lucky that we were able to afford housing. We
were lucky that our kids got into the lottery, but speaking of everybody with
children living up and down the Pike, they may not be as lucky."
Omar Bassiouny: We were in a tough situation for a while when we
were on single income because my income at the time wasn't low enough to qualify
for affordable housing, and it was not obviously high enough to make it through
the standard of living in Virginia…
Aseel Elborno: "In Arlington
specifically."
Omar Bassiouny: "The minimum required income to live for a family
of four, it was $108K. I wasn't earning in the six figures yet, but it wasn't
low enough to qualify for affordable housing. We were stuck in a gap. A lot of
people who were in my situation had to leave, although they were really upset.
Every time I talk to people who used to live in Arlington and moved out, they
say, "We would love to live in Arlington. We just couldn't afford it, especially
when you start having kids. And then either you'll be in single income, or you
have to deal with child support or childcare in the early ages of the
children." It was very hard. When people move, it’s very hard for them to
come back. They go to Centerville, or Sterling, to Woodbridge, they go to
Ashburn, or they go to a different state. In general, they have to move because
there is a breaking point for young childless professionals as to whether they'll
be able to make it financially. But when they have kids, they either have to
pay for childcare or they have to be on a single income. Childcare is very
expensive here. You need at least on average $1,700 per child per month. If you
have two, that's somebody's salary there. We're talking about $3,500 a month
for childcare. That's a gross income of 60K of somebody, right? A single person
can live on that.
We are renting because the cost of ownership in Arlington is
higher than the cost of rent. A lot of people who rent out their units or homes
already had bought them a while back. They still can rent them out for a
reasonable price, probably $800 a month less than the cost of ownership. Because
the area is expensive, a family of four needs to make $108 thousand to live, assuming
they have no debt, no credit card payments, no car payments or anything. They
just need this $108 thousand just to be able to live fine in the area. People
tend to think, "Okay, I'll go to Ashburn, or I'm going to get something
smaller or cheaper. I'm going to move there, and then childcare is slightly
more affordable," and so, they leave. But the ones who make it through,
they either struggle for a little while, or they already have very, very high
paying jobs."
Aseel Elborno: "We really
didn't have a choice because my husband is legally blind, and Arlington is the
only county that we have heard of in the entire country which offers a program
like the STAR Program."
Omar Bassiouny: "The STAR Program is a subsidized para-transit
program for citizens with disabilities. The MetroAccess Program is obviously
the umbrella that covers the greater Washington, DC metropolitan area, but it
is not as not good as STAR. You can use MetroAccess, but if you have
appointments, it makes your life hard. You have to leave like two to three
hours before your appointment to make it on time, while in Arlington the STAR program
is really the best in the whole entire United States. There is no restriction
on how many trips per year you can take."
Aseel Elborno: "You get a taxi that's sent to your home. Your
doctor has to send a note saying that you have some sort of disability, and
then you become part of the program. You call or get online and book your rides
like you would any other taxi service. Then they send you a taxi, and they will
take you anywhere within the DMV. Pretty far out actually."
Omar Bassiouny: "The border is Rockville in Maryland, and on the
other side Dulles Airport is the outer limit. I book straight from home to my doctor's
office, doctor's office to work, work to home, or maybe some other place and
then back home. There is a copay, but it's affordable. It's a wonderful well-managed
system that works very, very well."
Aseel Elborno: "So, we stuck it out in Arlington despite all the
costs and all the challenges. We said, "We're not going to find anywhere
else that will give us so much more mobility, so much independence. We're going
to stick it out." Thankfully, we made it over the hurdle, but it was a
tough five years before my kids started school. My mother-in-law lives with us
now, so she takes care of them after school. If she couldn’t, then I would put
them in after-care at school or find a babysitter. These are issues with all
families. It's harder in an expensive community."
Aseel Elborno: "I grew up in Raleigh, North Carolina, but in a
different and less diverse generation than now. I think that area is becoming
more urbanized and more diverse, but they've got about forty years to catch up
to a place like Arlington, where it is a lot more diverse. When I lived in
North Carolina, I was not visibly Muslim because I did not veil, and so I could
pass off as a white person. I felt very safe, and I never felt discriminated
against because I blended in. Had I not blended in, I would have felt very
uncomfortable. When I do go back to visit now with hijab, I notice people are
staring. people are looking. People might make a little comment because it's
not something that they see every day."
Omar Bassiouny: "And that is in a diverse city like Raleigh. If you
go twenty minutes outside Raleigh in any direction, it's very rural. If you are
in a Southern state and if you're not in a diverse city that has a lot of
opportunities like Raleigh and Charlotte, pretty much people are used to their
own kind. I will tell you a funny story. If was talking to this lady who said
she moved from Norfolk to this Northern Virginia, and she put her daughter in a
middle school in Falls Church by the big mosque. Her daughter now feels like
she's a minority. I was like, "Oh, that's funny enough.""
Aseel Elborno: "Even though
she's white. Because her school is so diverse..."
Omar Bassiouny: "It's funny because she's a very white
American, but in this area she's a minority.
Arlington is way ahead when it comes to diversity. I think
the only issue in Arlington is that the land is limited. Obviously, you cannot
expand the land because it is surrounded by Fairfax County and Falls Church City
from all directions, so you cannot add more land to Arlington. It is a very
appealing place, and there are a lot of companies that want to open their
headquarters here, or already have a presence here, so there are a lot of job
opportunities."
Aseel Elborno: "Housing is limited. There is a solution for
this. If zoning laws were to change and single family homes were mandated that
their properties had to have more than one unit, that they had to have
multi-family units, the housing situation could improve. We've got a whole
section of north Arlington that has not been tapped for its resources, but
because they're zoned for only single family homes, there's only so much that
you can build on them. We would have to change the zoning laws.
Omar Bassiouny: "One thing that I hope that I will be able to
afford to do, if I bring my brother here, is that our families can live
together in a big house or building but with separate living spaces, like co-housing.
The kids would always have somebody to play with. The grandparents can oversee.
Somebody is always there. Those kids will love it. They actually said they want
to marry here.
Aseel Elborno: They want to get married, and bring their brides
and just, "We're all going to live together.""
Omar Bassiouny: "I feel like this is how it should be anyway.
People can still get to know each other and help each other. I tried when I
moved here to invite our neighbors over and tell them, "Hey, come over and
have some tea." I guess they didn't understand what I meant. They thought
that was something weird because we cannot just knock on each other's door and
come over for a chat and tea. You have to have an appointment. I learned my
lesson.
There are other issues that now keep coming in our society now. Do
you feel safe about your child? Back in the days, if there was an event where a
child was molested, or attacked or something, it was kind of unusual. Now
things happen more, so you cannot just feel like it's safe enough to send your
kids to school. You always want to have that adult presence."
Aseel Elborno: "And also in traditional society you were raised in
a village, so even the neighbors were taking care of the kids. The people on
the street they all knew who you were and they would take care of you, and now
everybody is a stranger.
Our boys attend an extremely diverse school, and so even when you
look at their class photo, you see a little bit of everything, like many United
Nations. Really, truly, it's kind of amazing. I don't know if these kids realize
that's unusual. My kids are very, very outspoken, "Yeah, we don't
celebrate Christmas, but we celebrate Eid. We say Merry Christmas." They
know about these things, and their teachers are very comfortable speaking about
it. The entire holiday season they went through all of the different faith
traditions and all of the different holidays, and they even covered Eid even
though Eid is not until June this year. They just went ahead and covered it because
they wanted the kids to understand that there are different faith traditions
and there are different celebrations."
Omar Bassiouny: "Actually, when it was Chanukah, somebody came-"
Aseel Elborno: "and brought in a Jewish menorah…"
Omar Bassiouny: "And talked about it. When it's Ramadan, I see
sometimes they go and talk about it. Everybody goes to talk about something, so
it's wonderful."
Aseel Elborno: "I think the kids understand that it's normal to be
different, because everybody is different, and everyone's coming from their
different backgrounds, and that that's okay, and that we can all be friends,
and we can all get along, and we're all here to learn."
Omar Bassiouny: "If you think about it really, when you have a
group of people and they have different backgrounds, different cultures, it
doesn't only enrich people's experience, it actually helps create better
solutions and it helps the economy, too. Like even in Chile, when they allowed
immigrants in from all over, although they were under a very bad dictatorship,
the economy was boosted. Not because of the dictatorship, but from having
people coming from all over the world. They built businesses, they enriched
their experience, and the economy improved."
Aseel Elborno: "We actually
see that in the United States, too. Wherever refugees are relocated in these
rural areas, they end up actually enriching those economies. I worked as a
consultant or a humanitarian
organization Islamic Relief USA, before I got my present job at APAH (Arlington
Partnership for Affordable Housing). One of the things I did then was to lobby
the Hill about increasing the number of refugees that they were letting in. This
current administration is letting in a much smaller percentage than what is
actually normal, and even what is normal is way less than what other nations
are doing, so one of the positive arguments is, "You're worried about
these rural economies? Get some refugees in there. It will be boost their
economies. It will enrich them.""
